'The Fight' - Season 4, Episode 10
Ted and Barney, trying to impress Robin, pick a fight with a group of guys who take their booth at McLaren's.
Air Date: December 8th 2008.
Lily: (Watching Doug and Ted) God, I'm scared.
Robin: Yeah, me too. Is Doug seeing anyone?
Lily: Are you seeing anyone? You really should be.
Marshall: Ted couldn't fight. Look at him. He wouldn't last five minutes in a fight.
Ted: Well, maybe more than five.
Marshall: He's got the muscle definition of linguine.
Ted: I can't go to prison! Although I could get a lot of reading done, finally write some short stories, work out all the time... Seriously, if I don't come out of there totally ripped...
Barney: Ted, we can't go to prison! People get shivved in the joint! Plus the meals are really starchy.
Barney: Are you crying?
Ted: Yes I'm crying! You just punched me in the nose!
Barney: Oh, that'll swell up. You'll look like Owen Wilson!
Robin: There are plenty of legitimate reasons to get in a fight. It might not be pretty, but in certain situations you gotta do what you gotta do.
Ted: Right, I forgot, she thinks fighting is sexy.
Robin: No, I do not... a lot! Look, I come from a culture of hockey players. If a guy can throw down it's somewhat way hot. And scars? Hello! If a guy's got a scar, he's got a Robin, and if he's missing teeth, I'm missing my pants!
Barney: Tonight, I pick up a lesbian.