This website will be closing down by December 31, 2017.

Submit Quotes

Quotes from The Goat

The Goat

'The Goat' - Season 3, Episode 17

After Barney sleeps with Robin he gets help to find a loop hole in "The Bro Code" to let him off the hook.

Air Date: April 28th 2008.

Marshall: We can't keep a goat.
Lily: But she's so cute and fuzzy and soft.
Marshall: Yeah, and it also sheds, eats garbage, and can't control its bowel movements. Why don't we just call Duluth Mental Hospital and say my Uncle Linus can live with us?

Rate this quote:

Barney: Are you saying you don't want to be bros anymore?
Ted: I'm saying I don't want to be friends anymore.

Rate this quote:

Ted: Hey, Barney, I'm getting rid of some of my old stuff. Do you want my Xbox?
Barney: (Thinking that Ted is referring to Robin) Shame on you! She has a name! What kind of man do you think I am?
Ted: Uh, someone who likes video games?

Rate this quote:

Barney: So ... I just slept with my best friend's ex-girlfriend.
Robin: And I just slept with my ex-boyfriend's really good friend.
Barney: (Correcting her) Best friend.

Rate this quote:

Barney: I'm horrified that this happened.
Ted: How did it happen? Ahh? Barney? I want to know. Tell me exactly how it happened.
Barney: You mean, what position?

Rate this quote:

Barney: You can't tell anyone. Attorney-client privilege.
Marshall: Why are you doing this to me?
Barney: Because I need you, Marshall, as my lawyer to prove I didn't do anything wrong.
Marshall: How can I help you as your lawyer? You didn't break any laws, did you? Robin knows that you slept with her, doesn't she?
Barney: I didn't break any state or federal laws. But I think I broke a much, much higher law. The Bro Code.

Rate this quote:

Barney: I can't keep buying things! I have six self-cleaning litter boxes and I don't even HAVE a kid.

Rate this quote: