'How I Met Everyone Else' - Season 3, Episode 5
While the gang meet Ted's new girlfriend, who Barney warns is crazy, the gang discuss how they all met.
Air Date: October 22nd 2007.
Future Ted: Kids, in the fall of 2007 I went out with this girl. Her name was... God, I forget. It was twenty-five years ago, I can't be expected to remember everything. Anyway, it's not important, so for the purpose of this story we'll call her...
Ted: Everyone, this is Blah Blah.
Blah Blah: Please, just call me Blah.
Barney: (About Marshall getting a date) It's about believing you can, even though you probably can't.
Blah Blah: You guys dated? For how long?
Robin: A year. But, don't worry. The relationship wasn't that good. At the end, it was mostly about sex. Which wasn't that good. I was the problem. I just lie there. But Ted is very good. He will get you where you need to go.
Marshall: I'm sorry, who are you again?
Ted: This is Barney, I met him the other day. He is kind of a jackass.
Barney: I'm teaching Ted how to live. And lucky you, I have room for one more student. Think of me as Yoda. Only instead of being little and green, I wear suits and I'm awesome! I'm your bro. I'm broda!
Barney: Let's see how BlahBlah is doing on the crazy/hot scale. She started the night here on the hot side but, as the night progressed, she's got crazier but no hotter which has caused her to drift across the Mendonza diagonal dangerously close to the Shelly Gilespie zone, another girl I dated. She gained 20 pounds and tried to kill me with a brick.
Barney: Ted, the only hot girls that troll the Internet for dudes are crazy, hookers or dudes.
Ted: OK, she's not crazy, she's not a hooker, she's not a dude. Though there's this guy I pass on my way to work every day who's all three - scares the hell out of me!
Ted: I'm 'Too Much Tongue Guy'.
Lily: And I'm 'Unreasonably Small Mouth-Opening Girl'.
Barney: Worst... superheroes... ever.