'Something Borrowed' - Season 2, Episode 21
Everything appears to be going wrong on Marshall and Lily's wedding day, until Barney steps into fix it all.
Air Date: May 7th 2007.
Barney: It would cover up the problem, it's festive, and it celebrates the heritage of this great nation.
Ted: Okay, unless you actually have one in your car, stop suggesting authentic Native American headdress.
Marshall: Lily's never gonna marry me like this!
Ted: Come on, of course she will!
Marshall: Would you marry me?
Ted: No. But not because of the hair, because I have a rule. Never marry someone you've had a farting contest with.
Marshall: Oh, great. So now you're saying Lily and I shouldn't even get married?
Marshall I look like one of the Backstreet Boys!
Barney: You totally do. And not even the good Backstreet Boys, the older, lame dance move comeback Backstreet Boys.
Ted: "Good Backstreet Boys"?
Lily: How's Marshall?
Barney: He's fine. He's about to get his hair cut.
Lily: Oh, I'm worried my cousin's gonna cut it too short.
Barney: Me, too. I was up all night!
Barney: Can I grab a scotch and soda real quick?
Bartender: Nope. I'm not allowed to serve anything until the reception.
Barney: Wow, you just cost yourself a big tip, buddy.
Bartender: I'm not allowed to accept tips. Buddy.
Barney: You allowed to accept criticism? You, sir, are an ASS! Buddy.
Robin: But you hate marriage. Why do you want to perform the ceremony?
Barney: Because it subtly implants in the mind of every woman there that when I ask a question, you say "I do."
Marshall: Hat. You thought of authentic Native American head-dress, before hat?
Lily: My makeup is perfect, and I'm about to cry. Do something.
Robin: Uh, I have hairy nipples.
Robin: No, but it worked.
Barney: You wanna know what line doesn't work on a harp player? "Hey, baby, wanna pluck?"