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Quotes from The Scorpion and the Toad

The Scorpion and the Toad

'The Scorpion and the Toad' - Season 2, Episode 2

Barney puts Marshall back on the singles market, but keeps stealing his potential mates. Ted thinks Lily is back because she misses Marshall, but she claims she's never been happier.

Air Date: September 25th 2006.

Barney: Tonight we'll go the The Scorpion and the Toad, a college bar. I figure in a college environment, you'll seem more mature. More worldly. And as a law student, more smarter.

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Marshall: You said to me that being single would be like being in a candy store.
Barney: Well, it's not like a candy store; it's a lawless post-apocalyptic wasteland.

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Barney: Dude! You were awesome last night! You were charming, you were funny, you were totally working that girl!
Marshall: You went home with her!
Barney: Yes I did.

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Ted: Five bucks says she still wants Marshall.
Robin: You're on.
Ted: Five American bucks.
Robin: Dammit!

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Ted: Okay, we're way past 'truth-telling' Lily and about to hit 'Cinco de Mayo 1998' Lily, and I'm not cleaning that up again.

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Waiter: For you, sir?
Ted: Err ... gravy.
Waiter: Do you want that gravy on something?
Ted: ... Surprise me.

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