'Nothing Good Happens After 2 AM' - Season 1, Episode 18
A lonely Robin asks Ted to come to her apartment in the middle of night, leaving Ted unsure of what to do.
Air Date: April 10th 2006.
Marshall: Well, I'm better friends with Ted than you are.
Barney: That is a lie!
Marshall: It is not a lie.
Barney: Okay, that's it! You and me! I'm not afraid of you!
Marshall: I'll show you things you never seen before!
Barney: I used to box in the Army!
Robin: Have you ever had one of those days where nothing all that monumental happens, but by the end of it you have no idea who you are or what the hell you are doing with your life? Do you ever have one of those days?
Ted: (smiles) Uhh, about once a week.
Robin: I don't know, it was just a rough day, and the only person I wanted to see at the end of it was you!
Barney: Kids, you don't give half a brown Crayola what I do for a living, do you?
Barney: I know what you want. Magic! (Poof of flame and smoke from Barney's hand).
Marshall: Ted, I don't want to swear in front of Korean Elvis, but what the bleep are you doing, dude?
Barney: Come on, Lily, how many women can say that they have been personally serenaded by Korean Elvis?
Marshall: How much does Korean Elvis rock? I'll answer that: infinity. He rocks infinity.
Ted: I hate how you're always right.
Lily: It's my best, and most annoying, trait.
Marshall: Ted, what does your mom always say?
Ted: Nothing good ever...
Marshall: Nothing good ever happens after 2a.m.