'The Pineapple Incident' - Season 1, Episode 10
Ted goes on a partying rampage and wakes up with an unknown woman in his bed.
Air Date: November 28th 2005.
Marshall: OK, think about this, is there even a single item on the menu that has garlic in it?
Lily: Garlic fries.
Marshall: OK, well, I'll get back to you.
Barney: That's the whole point of getting drunk. You do things you would never do in a million years if you were sober.
Lily: Says every girl you've ever slept with.
Ted: (To Robin) I don't say this enough, but you're a great woman, and a great reporter. You should be on 60 Minutes. You should be one of the minutes.
Ted: Why are you sleeping in our tub?
Barney: The porcelain keeps the suit from wrinkling.
Lily: Wait, were you here when I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night?
Barney: Don't worry, I slept through it. I totally didn't sleep through it. For a little girl, you've got a big tank.
Barney: (To Ted) There's a girl in your bed.
Marshall: And a pineapple. Am I the only one who's curious about the pineapple?
Ted: Barney, you've always taken care of me. You are a gentleman and a scholar. Go into my stable and take my finest stallion. He's yours, his name is Windjammer.
Ted: Hey, how easy do you think it'll be to sneak into the zoo? I have to see some penguins, like right now.
Ted: Why do they call it karaoke anyhow? Was it invented by a woman named Karey Oke? These are the kind of things I think about.
Barney: Ted, I believe you and I met for a reason. It's like the universe was saying ,"Hey Barney, there's this dude, he's pretty cool, but it is your job to make him awesome!".