'The Duel' - Season 1, Episode 8
After Lily moves in with Ted and Marshall, Ted worries he is being edged out of the apartment.
Air Date: November 14th 2005.
Ted: They're edging me out. They're totally edging me out. I didn't' believe it but you're right.
Barney: Told you. That Lily, she's a shrewd one.
Robin: Yeah, she got you a nice new coffeemaker. How dare she!
Lily: He's not cool with me moving in.
Marshall: No, that's not it. I mean, you basically lived here all along. Ted loves you.
Lily: So, what's he PMSing about?
Ted: All right Marshall, we're deciding right now who gets this apartment. It may lead to an argument, but we're settling this.
Marshall: Or we could flip a coin.
Ted: Yeah, let's flip a coin.
Barney: You need to mark your territory, and I don't mean missing the toilet.
Barney: You know what the dating world needs? A 'Lemon Law'.
Marshall: I stabbed Lily, I stabbed my fiancée.
Ted: Come on Marshall, do you really think she's still your fiancée?
Lily: On Monday I'm going to have to tell my kindergarten class, who I tell not to run with scissors, how my fiancé ran me through with a broadsword.
Marshall: Technically, it didn't go all the way through.
Lily: I'm sorry, were we having a discussion about the degree to which you stabbed me?