'Purple Giraffe' - Season 1, Episode 2
Ted repeatedly throws parties in the hopes Robin will attend.
Air Date: September 26th 2005.
Ted: I just gotta bump into her somewhere. Now if only I knew her schedule, I could arrange a chance encounter.
Lily: That's great, Ted. You'll be the most casual stalker ever.
Barney: Solid plan, my little friend.
Ted: We're the same height.
Ted: Hey, don't you have a paper to write?
Marshall: Dude, you're talking to The Kid. I'm gonna knock back this beer. I'm gonna knock back one more beer. I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna write a 25-page paper, I'm gonna hand it in and I'm gonna get an A. My name is Rufus and that's the Trufus.
Future Ted: He got a B-, but still; 25 pages in one night? B-? The Kid was good.
Ted: You know it's so funny I ran into you. We're having a party next Friday if you'd like to swing by, but you know, whatever.
Robin: Oh, I'm going back home next weekend. Too bad it's not tonight.
Ted: It is tonight; this Friday. Did I say next Friday? Sorry, I've been saying next Friday all week. But yeah it's tonight; the party is tonight. But, you know, whatever!
Barney: Ted, let's rap. Statistics: At every New York party there is always a girl who has no idea whose party she's at. She knows no one you know, and you will never see her again. Do you see... where I'm going... with this?
Marshall: Now the kid has got to get to work, and the kid is not to be disturbed. Repeat after me: I will not have sex with Marshall.
Ted and Lily: I will not have sex with Marshall.
Robin: I don't know, Ted. I mean, we barely know each other and you're looking at me with that look and it's like...
Ted: Like what?
Robin: Like let's fall in love and get married, and have kids, and drive them to soccer practice.
Ted: I'm not going to force sports onto them unless they're interested.