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Quotes from Purple Giraffe

Purple Giraffe

'Purple Giraffe' - Season 1, Episode 2

Ted repeatedly throws parties in the hopes Robin will attend.

Air Date: September 26th 2005.

Ted: I just gotta bump into her somewhere. Now if only I knew her schedule, I could arrange a chance encounter.
Lily: That's great, Ted. You'll be the most casual stalker ever.

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Barney: Solid plan, my little friend.
Ted: We're the same height.

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Ted: Hey, don't you have a paper to write?
Marshall: Dude, you're talking to The Kid. I'm gonna knock back this beer. I'm gonna knock back one more beer. I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna write a 25-page paper, I'm gonna hand it in and I'm gonna get an A. My name is Rufus and that's the Trufus.
Future Ted: He got a B-, but still; 25 pages in one night? B-? The Kid was good.

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Ted: You know it's so funny I ran into you. We're having a party next Friday if you'd like to swing by, but you know, whatever.
Robin: Oh, I'm going back home next weekend. Too bad it's not tonight.
Ted: It is tonight; this Friday. Did I say next Friday? Sorry, I've been saying next Friday all week. But yeah it's tonight; the party is tonight. But, you know, whatever!

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Barney: Ted, let's rap. Statistics: At every New York party there is always a girl who has no idea whose party she's at. She knows no one you know, and you will never see her again. Do you see... where I'm going... with this?

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Marshall: Now the kid has got to get to work, and the kid is not to be disturbed. Repeat after me: I will not have sex with Marshall.
Ted and Lily: I will not have sex with Marshall.

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Robin: I don't know, Ted. I mean, we barely know each other and you're looking at me with that look and it's like...
Ted: Like what?
Robin: Like let's fall in love and get married, and have kids, and drive them to soccer practice.
Ted: I'm not going to force sports onto them unless they're interested.

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