Robin: Come on, Ted can't be pregnant. You need to have sex to get pregnant!
Robin: You know, I've been thinking about this. I don't think I want kids.
Ted: You don't want to have kids?
Robin: You know, Ted, not everyone is as much as a woman as you are.
Ted: You're scared of the seven dwarves?
Robin: Just Doc. He's creepy. I mean, the guy went to medical school. What's he doing living with 6 coal miners?
Lily: How about a Halloween double-date?
Robin: I don't know, we were kinda thinking about staying at home and dressing up as naked people.
Marshall: (Giving Ted one of the two swords) I hate to break up the set, but you're going to need it.
Robin: He's right. My building is infested with dragons.
Ted: Robin Scherbatsky, will you be my back-up wife?
Robin: A girl waits her whole life to hear those words. Yes, yes, a million times yes!
Robin: Ted, the future is scary. But you can't just run back to the past because it's familiar. Yes, it's tempting...
Barney: But it's a mistake.
Marshall: For as much as we know about the cockamousse, there are still so much we don't know.
Robin: Well, we know that there's no such thing as a cockamouse. What we don't know is what you guys have been smoking.
Robin: I love a Scotch that's old enough to order its own Scotch.
Robin: I'm her older sister. I'm suppose to teach her how to make good and responsible decisions.
Lily: It's 2 o'clock and you've already had three scotch and sodas.
Robin: I'm proud to be Canadian. We may not have a fancy NFL team, or Prince, but we invented Trivial Pursuit—you're welcome, Earth. Plus, in Canada, you can go to an all-nude strip club and order alcohol. That's right. From Moose Jaw to the Bay of Fundy, you can suck down a 20-ounce pilsner while watching some coal miner's daughter strip down to her pelt. Jealous?
Robin: There are plenty of legitimate reasons to get in a fight. It might not be pretty, but in certain situations you gotta do what you gotta do.
Ted: Right, I forgot, she thinks fighting is sexy.
Robin: No, I do not... a lot! Look, I come from a culture of hockey players. If a guy can throw down it's somewhat way hot. And scars? Hello! If a guy's got a scar, he's got a Robin, and if he's missing teeth, I'm missing my pants!
Mike: Where's your costume, Gretel?
Robin: You thought I was...Oh, I was just kidding. I gotta stop making jokes in e-mails. It's so hard to convey tone.
Barney: Helping people less fortunate than me is the greatest pleasure in the world.
Robin: Yesterday you said the greatest pleasure in the world was having your toes sucked. Then you asked for a high five ... from your foot.
Barney: Freeways have exits, so do relationships. The first exit, my personal favorite is 6 hours in, you meet, you talk, you have sex and you exit when she's in the shower.
Robin: So every girl you have sex with feels the immediate need to shower? Actually yeah, I get that.
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